


A Means to an End

by withlightning



Series: All Good [2]
Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-24
Updated: 2010-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 04:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withlightning/pseuds/withlightning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray is choking and panicking, Fraser is scared and everything is better than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Means to an End

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This is for you, Kat. (Again.)  
> 2\. Sequel for [Under Pressure](http://archiveofourown.org/works/120561)
> 
> 3\. Originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/withthunder/1709.html#cutid1), February 22nd 2010

Ray Kowalski has lived through all his life, through his puberty and through his adulthood without dying while he's sucking someone's cock - well, point proven, he is alive at the moment (also, there has only been Fraser, so it's not like he has that much practice)- so he's bound to choke on one, or, at least, try to suffocate himself by one.

The thing about Fraser is that he's surprisingly vocal during whatever it is that Ray's doing to him. Sucking, nibbling, kissing, licking, biting, you name it and Fraser has a different kind of response to each and everyone. And the best part is that he's wild - he gets out of control when Ray flicks his tongue just the right way or bites a bit too hard and Ray's just ecstatic to be able to elicit such a respond from Fraser.

Because Fraser? He's cool. He's cool as ice. Like icy cool. The guy even works for the Ice Queen so there's certain level of iciness needed, and the level of iciness Fraser has?

Glacier.

And that's why it's even cooler to be the one who breaks Fraser's super cool. So Ray gets to be smug and smitten and the King of Porn, by the sound of it.

It all started pretty innocently, if Ray may say so. It's not like he seduced Fraser to begin with. It was more of a mutual agreement of sorts.

Okay, yes, he kind of did seduce Fraser. But it's not like Fraser didn't want the surprise sex, there weren't any objections or anything because Ray would remember Fraser's huge fist punching his teeth into pieces.

Instead, what he remembers is Fraser writhing and moaning and leaning back against him and yeah, coming pretty awesomely, all the cool melted away and Fraser whimpering hotly, needy – it was a really nice first for Ray.

So, it's been few months with the whole ghost ship thing and the mini-sub thing and the huge fight thing and, of course, the mind-bogglingly hot rut in the mini-sub thing. He said to Fraser, back then, that they're all good and it's the truth, they're better than ever and Ray absolutely doesn't think about life being shitty and unfair and always ruining the good things in his life because he's decided he's going to keep Fraser. All for himself.

But, Fraser being Fraser has to take the whole "we're good" thing to the next level.

Just because he's Fraser.

During an awesome blowjob.

Just because he's Fraser.

There Ray was, marveling the way Fraser got louder and louder, his strong thighs quivering, stomach all taut and his fists clutching the sheets with white knuckles. Ray just sucks harder and flexes his fingers inside Fraser, crooks them the right way and what does Fraser blurb out?

In a rush – and obviously brainlessly – he says, "Oh!" And something else Ray doesn't understand right away.

Ray keeps flexing and pumping his fingers in and out of Fraser and humming, "Mmmh," until Fraser's words catch up with his sex-ridden brain and yeah, he can admit it later, he panics.

Totally and utterly panics.

So he almost chokes on Fraser's cock when Fraser's hips shoot up and he comes, hot and heavy and bitter down Ray's throat, or more like straight to his gullet, what with the whole thing called asphyxiation and Ray is absolutely dumb-struck, unable to breathe, the hand that's not being squeezed rhythmically by Fraser's internal muscles flails a bit before landing on Fraser's thigh, trying to give him some leverage to pull himself off.

It's not working.

Ray would laugh at the situation, and he most probably will, but right now it's very unfunny.

Flailing, he manages to untangle himself from Fraser, his jaw popping back in place and he winces along the sting and wipes his watery eyes. Fraser's still pretty out of it, trembling and breathing rapidly and yeah, keeping his eyes closed.

He counts to ten in his head and that's the time Fraser gets to cool himself off because Ray just can't let this one go.

"What did you just say?" God, he'll be having bruises in his throat come tomorrow because it really hurts to talk, or, croak, more like.

Fraser opens his eyes and his gaze zeroes on Ray. Oh yeah, that's one look Ray can indentify. And the funny thing is, it kind of suits Fraser. For someone else, those big round, scared eyes and mouth half open would look ridiculous, but for Fraser? Everything looks good on Fraser. Even the stupid deer in the headlights look.

"Did I hear you right? Did you…" It's really not something Ray is able to repeat vocally, but in his head it's looping and looping and looping and Fraser's still totally in shock.

"Are you serious?" Because he knows Fraser never kids around. And isn't that a scary thought? Besides, who the hell asks someone to marry them in the middle of the most awesomest blowjob in the history of awesome blowjobs?

Fraser isn't an easy guy to read, Ray's aware of this. He's very aware it's hard for most of the people, if not for all. It's hard for all, except him. The thing is, Ray has always been able to read Fraser. Sure, he's the one who goes with a feeling, the one who doesn't think about every single word he says, the one who can be (yes – he admits it) touchy-feely, more of than not, but Fraser's pretty easy to understand if you're willing to take the class of How to Deal with Mounties and Their Deaf Half Wolves 101. Ray didn't exactly sign up for one, because he had no idea what he was dealing with when he took the undercover job. Nevertheless, Ray got Fraser, got him in a way he had never gotten anyone before and the looks of it, it's the same for Fraser.

Ray has given that thing a lot of thought. The thought about Fraser getting him and wanting to keep on being partners and wanting to spend time with him and there really isn't any other option than to acknowledge the fact that Fraser genuinely has to like Ray's company. That Fraser has to get him in the same way Ray gets Fraser.

That all was, of course, before the sub sex. (Fraser insisted it was sex, Ray kept telling him it wasn't, it really wasn't and Fraser said something about erections and orgasms and chemical reactions and Ray proceeded to show Fraser what he thinks sex is – and the weekend after, as they were both limping to Ray's car, Dief frolicking around them, happy to have fresh air, both smiling like idiots, even when wincing and cursing with every single step - Fraser bashfully admitted that their little tryst in the sub was more in the lines of fondling - which apparently is a very important part of having sex, Fraser relented and yes, Ray felt victorious, all the way to the consulate, until Fraser lured him back to his little office and gave Ray something glorious on top of his victory. Ray wholeheartedly approved.)

Now, obviously, they are still on the same page, even if Ray has hard time believing his ears.

"You are serious." He states.

Fraser just stares at him some more and gulps, gripping tight the sheets underneath him and yeah, it's proven; Ray gives way too good head. Even if it almost kills him in the process.

It's weird, though. Seeing Fraser lying on his bed, resting his smart head with his soft, albeit damp hair on Ray's pillow, looking like he's part of Ray's bedroom, looking like Ray really wants Fraser to be part of his bedroom, like, a long time (he doesn't know about Stella-long, but long-long, so long that he doesn't know when the longness should end – kind of like never-ending long?) and he isn't freaking out. Fraser is.

The weirdest thing, however, is his still-raging hard on – it looks like little Ray is more than exited about Fraser's slip and that's another thing.

Ray loved Stella like crazy, he honest to God did. They had fun in bed, they had intimacy in bed, they had love in bed and pleasure in bed. But this, what he has with Fraser, it's something he can't find words for.

Ray isn't good with words like epiphany (he uses realization) or omnipotent (almighty) or precognition (knowing beforehand), but he knows the most important ones.

Intelligence.

Beauty.

Love.

Fraser.

Home.

And he knows those things are connected and he knows he wouldn't want to have his life in any other way than he does at the moment, even if Fraser's still really quiet and scared.

"Ben," he says quietly, seriously, all funny left behind momentarily, secretly enjoying the stinging burn in his throat as he swallows drily.

Fraser eases up the grip he has on Ray's linens and breathes out properly for the first time since he came. "Ray," he breathes out and lifts his right hand slowly, reaching for Ray's own.

Ray touches Fraser's big palm, sweaty with fear, Ray thinks. Because no matter what people say about Fraser, he's not a machine – he's brave and super smart, yes, but he's also very kind and gentle and so unselfish it sometimes hurts Ray to watch. It used to hurt him a great deal when he was forced to stand next to Fraser and see how much Fraser was willing to give, without giving really anything of himself and this is the part where Ray also gets Fraser. He realizes that Fraser really is afraid. Afraid that Ray will turn him down, afraid that he'll be alone again after having Ray in his life like this, this comfortable, enjoyable way they've been having each other in their lives for such a short period of time, afraid of giving himself for Ray to really see.

But it is Fraser who's reaching out, who's brave and who, despite all Ray's faults –of which Fraser has to know about – seems to want him, just like Ray wants him. Because they get each other.

And, okay, Ray's starting to see the point, here. He really, really gets Fraser and it seems that he has for a long time.

So, he clutches Fraser's hand in his and squeezes to let him know it's okay. And Fraser looks so relieved, so goddamn happy, it almost brings tears to Ray's eyes and when Fraser, a moment later, pulls Ray on top of him, Ray goes willingly, almost dives in to get kissing Fraser.

Fraser's eager and so is he and they settle for making out like horny teenagers for a while, because Ray can't get enough of Fraser's mouth and his agile tongue and he just loves kissing Fraser.

They kiss and grope and fumble until Ray rolls behind Fraser, plastering himself on Fraser's back, feet of skin against skin and it feels exhilarating, time after time.

It doesn't matter that Fraser is bulkier than Ray, not when they're lying like this, because this reminds Ray of their first time and in a way, this is repeating their first time by being their new first time, the real first time and Ray just loves first times. Sure, they can be hell and they can go to hell in the speed of light, but with Fraser, everything is just so effortless, so natural and all the first times with Fraser are bound to be amazing.

So, he tells Fraser, "You're amazing." And nuzzles Fraser's neck, just like he loves to do and Fraser shivers, just like he's done every single time before, shivers exactly like Ray loves and yeah, he's pretty much totally in love with Fraser.

The table lamp behind Ray is on and it makes Fraser's skin golden, painting his skin with warm yellow and Ray runs his fingers on Fraser's shoulder, right down to his elbow and up again, watching the shadows play on Fraser's soft arm and says, "You're gorgeous."

Fraser's breath catches at that, just like Ray knew it would because Fraser isn't good with compliments; it's as if he doesn't believe in those, not even when Ray says them in the broad daylight, or when he whispers them into Fraser's ear in the middle of the night - it's as if Fraser doesn't think he's worthy, like he's something less than others, when in reality, it's the opposite, completely. And it frustrates Ray, because he doesn't do niceties without a good reason and Fraser is the best reason, ever. So Ray has decided a long time ago that he won't stop complimenting Fraser, he's going to be relentless and make Fraser understand why people compliment each other, what it is supposed to be for.

"You're-- God, you make me crazy," Ray half whispers urgently before sucking Fraser's neck, hard, most definitely leaving a purple mark and it's not like Fraser will be able to hide it - and Ray doesn't care. Neither does Fraser, what with the way he moans, a low vibration under Ray's palm, where it's pressing against Fraser's chest.

Ray runs his hand lower, reaching Fraser's stomach and he pets the soft skin while nibbling on Fraser's ear—

And he finds himself on his back, Fraser on top of him, looking wicked.

This is what Ray loves the most in Fraser; the playfulness only he gets to see. The way Fraser holds him down by his wrists on top of his head, the way he looks down on Ray, eyes sparkling and devious, beautiful smile decorating his face – they make Ray feel special. And Ray likes to feel special to Fraser.

Fraser keeps his hand down, pressing Ray's wrists as he kisses his way down; sucks on Ray's nipple and twirls his tongue on Ray's chest, going lower and Ray once again wonders how can Fraser be so good at this, it's like he plays Ray, like he'd play guitar or bagpipe or whatever the hell it is they like to play in the Great White North.

When Fraser reaches his destination, he lets go of Ray's hands but the message is quite clear; Fraser doesn't need Ray's hands to participate. Ray is totally on board with this one and he clutches the edge of the mattress, just to keep his hands and fidgeting fingers busy and then, God, Fraser's mouth.

It's hot and smooth and wet and Ray moans, seriously embarrassing, high-pitched sound and he's way past caring. It isn't anything Fraser hasn't already heard, anyways.

Fraser licks patiently, with determination, long and hard licks and Ray automatically opens his thighs wider. Then there's perfect suction, the kind that makes Ray's toes curl and slurping with humming and clearly Fraser is trying to kill him like this, too.

As for the real first time? Not gonna happen tonight.

Ray feels himself coiling tight, higher and higher and God, did he just agree to marry Fraser? Not marry, marry, obviously, because it's not possible, but the equivalent of marriage and holy hell, he did, didn't he? Oh God, he so did—

And Fraser bobs his head just the right way, his hand squeezing hard the spot where Ray's thigh meets his groin and Ray opens his eyes and stares at the roof and comes and comes and comes.

  
**~**~**

  
It's minutes or hours later when Ray finally relaxes again, his mind blissfully empty and Fraser comes back to the bedroom with glass of milk. He offers the glass to Ray and he shoots Fraser a grateful smile before gulping down half of the glass.

Fraser looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't, and he takes his usual place next to Ray, settles down, under the cover, leg leaning against Ray's.

Ray burrows deeper, surrounded by warmth and Fraser's smell and he hums his happiness. "I'm hibernating," he mumbles and sighs in contentment.

"Ray," Fraser says carefully.

Ray nuzzles his face against his pillow and answers, "Mmh?"

"It's July." Fraser replies.

"So?"

Fraser waits a beat, like he's trying to form his words properly. "To hibernate usually means something that is done during winter time."

"And?"

"It's July," Fraser says again.

Ray thinks about this for a while and says, "It's winter in Australia."

"Point." Fraser replies matter-of-factly and his hand sneaks to pet Ray's side, sliding against his ribs, up and down, slowly.

Ray enjoys these little signs of affections Fraser is prone to show and he feels happiness bubbling in his chest. He lets Fraser pet him for a moment before he lifts his head under the comforter, sits up and bites his lip. He glances at Fraser fleetingly and concentrates on his twisting fingers on his lap. "We…uh. We really going to do this?"

Fraser doesn't even pretend to not know what Ray means; instead he stays still and looks at Ray with guarded look in his eyes. "I…" He starts, trailing away and looking rather helpless, like he doesn't know what to say in order for Ray not to blow him away.

Ray realizes this is kind of a turning point and it's his turn to show the little signs of affection, multiple million times. So Ray decides for them.

"Oh, good!" He exclaims and smiles brightly. "And here I thought you were going to tell me you didn't mean it. I mean, it's not like I get proposed every day, you know."

He finds Fraser's stilled hand under the cover and takes in his own, slotting their fingers together, tightly.

Fraser exhales loudly and slowly this most beautiful, radiant and real grin forms on his gorgeous face and it's really infectious because Ray feels his own face almost splitting in half with the impact.

Fraser looks bashful as he opens his mouth, "You feel like joining me and Dief at the cabin some time? To hibernate as hibernation should be hibernated?"

"Absolutely," Ray answers gleefully and tugs Fraser closer. He comes willingly and Ray curls around Fraser and whispers, "Let's start practicing."

Fraser kisses Ray's throat - which, by the way, is still sore and achy - and closes his eyes, small smile gracing the corners of his lips.

Ray looks at Fraser a beat longer and follows Fraser's lead.

Just like he usually does.

  
\- Fin


End file.
